The What If Game
by FanggirlX
Summary: An average writer is given the power to control the lives of twelve people from three anime: Inuyasha Naruto and Fullmetal Alchemist. It is a game of random choice based on a list and numbers. Weird hilarity ensues for these poor twelve souls.


A.N.-

Okay so hi everybody! I was given this list of scenarios by a friend.

1. One and eight are attacked by two and five

2. Five walks in on six and twelve having sex

3. Seven is killed how does ten respond?

4. Ten gets a cold what does two do?

5. Four, six, and twelve attend nine and eleven's wedding

6. Nine robs six, what do they steal?

7. Eleven helps three bake cookies

8. Twelve stays the night at four's house

9. Six takes nine and eight out partying

10. One needs advice and goes to two for it

11. Seven steals one's car

12. Five, three, and eleven show up at one's house drunk

13. Nine humps two, how does ten get revenge?

14. You invite six and five on a trip

15. Five disappears how does three tell nine?

16. Two robs a convenience store, what gets stolen?

17. Three takes ballet with seven

18. Four and eight stalk one

19. Ten goes grocery shopping to fix dinner for twelve and seven

20. One, four, and nine are locked in a closet together

And I was told to pick three anime and twelve characters from these three anime. I did that and numbered them as I thought of them. The three anime I picked were **Inuyasha, Fullmetal Alchemist, and Naruto.**

The list of characters went as follows:

**1. Inuyasha **

**2. Sakura Haruno**

**3. Kakashi**

**4. Edward Elric**

**5. Roy Mustang**

**6. Hughes **

**7. Lust**

**8. Gaara**

**9. Naruto**

**10. Naraku**

**12. Kagome**

So you that don't have to go back and forth seeing which number is who I'll fill it in for you.

1. **Inuyasha** and **Gaara **are attacked by **Sakura** and **Roy**

2.** Roy **walks in on **Hughes **and **Kagome** having sex

3. **Lust** is killed how does **Naraku** respond?

4. **Naraku** gets a cold what does **Sakura** do?

5. **Ed**, **Hughes**, and **Kagome **attend **Naruto** and **Sesshomaru**'s wedding

6. **Naruto** robs **Hughes**, what do they steal?

7. **Sesshomaru** helps **Kakashi** bake cookies

8. **Gaara** stays the night at **Ed**'s house

9. **Hughes** takes **Naruto **and **Gaara **out partying

10. **Inuyasha** needs advice and goes to **Sakura **for it

11. **Lust** steals **Inuyasha**'s car

12. **Roy**, **Kakashi**, and **Sesshomaru** show up at **Inuyasha**'s house drunk

13. **Naruto** humps **Sakura**, how does **Naraku** get revenge?

14. You invite **Hughes** and **Roy** on a trip

15. **Roy** disappears how does **Kakashi** tell **Naruto**?

16. **Sakura** robs a convenience store, what gets stolen?

17. **Kakashi** takes ballet with **Lust**

18. **Ed** and **Gaara** stalk **Inuyasha**

19. **Naraku** goes grocery shopping to fix dinner for **Kagome** and **Lust**

20. **Inuyasha**, **Ed**, and **Naruto** are locked in a closet together

Now I didn't really like everything by normal standards. Some of the people put together and the things they had to do were out there and not like them at all and didn't ever seem possible of happening but… that was kind of the point of the game lol. So for the sake of randomness it was funny. It made me and my friend giggle a lot. And then I looked at the list again. And I swear to you guys it was like a movie started playing in my head. I started seeing these scenarios take place and they all went together! I was amazed at how such random things just all flowed together in one giant story and then I looked to my friend and was like I must write this!

XD They of course were completely confused but I just shushed them and started typing and my movie in my head started coming out. It was so much fun! I laughed until I cried in some places while writing simply because the mental picture was incredible!

Lol My only problem was I had no clue where to post this thing! So I took a guess and chose crossovers of course. But I'm gonna try and also put it on my profile I think… or maybe at least the list and tell where the story is at. Since I'm not sure what this really falls under…

Anyway, I had so much fun writing this and it made me giggle so much I wanted to share it because hopefully this will make someone else smile as well. My Author's Note is now definitely way too long and I'm just going to end it here. Enjoy it everybody!  
FanggirlX

* * *

Disclaimr: I don't own Inuyasha, Naruto, or Fullmetal Alchemist

The day was warm and sunny. Light fluffy clouds strolled across the bright robin's egg blue sky. Cheerful sounding birds were chirping and singing hidden within the lush green leaves high in the trees. Playful shadows cast down from he towering trees danced on sun heated sidewalks. Oblivious children played in their yards enjoying the summer afternoon; jumping through sprinklers and eating melting popsicles from their front porch steps.

There was not a sign of what was to come anywhere, no warning at all of the strange and rare catastrophe that was about to hit this nameless suburban town.

There was no dramatic sound, no extravagant light show, no mysterious portals appearing in the sky. Really it was a simple thing that spurred the events that were soon to unfold. Boredom. From boredom came an altered reality where nearly anything could go, where chaos could reign if it so wished; if it wasn't on holiday, and where all previously known rules no longer meant anything. Life, as the world knew it, had been changed once it had been placed in the hands of a single, imaginative, and yes, very bored mind. These are the events that developed from an anime crazed girl struck with boredom and handed the power to unite different worlds through a game of random choice.

* * *

Inuyasha blinked and looked around.

"Uh…this ain't Tokyo…"

The raven haired cutie beside him smiled cheerfully and shrugged, "So? This place is just as great. Look at these cute birdies! Aw, Inuyasha, they're taking a bath in that puddle. Look isn't it cute?"

Golden eyes, over flowing with confusion, gawked at the modern day miko. Was she serious?! They're…somewhere they weren't minutes before and she's lookin' at birds in a puddle! Unbelievable!

"Kagome! Now is not the time to be playin' with stupid birds! We've got to get back home and look for more shards before Naraku gets them! Or have you forgotten this, wench?"

Kagome waved him off with a flippant hand and cooed at the tiny birds.

Inuyasha's jaw tightened with anger and he held in a growl. She hadn't even cared.

Well ok fine! Let her stay here and stare at these damn birds! He was going to find a way back home. Most likely, some demon had cast some kind of illusion on them. He'd find it and kill it; problem solved. He didn't need Kagome, that was for damn sure.

* * *

"Weeeeeeeeeeeee!"

"Naruto you idiot stop that! People are staring!"

Naruto grinned at the pink haired girl as he continued to run in wide circles with his arms thrust out from his sides like wings.

Sakura waved her fist angrily and after he circled by her again took off after him shouting threats and promises of pain if he didn't listen to her.

Kakashi sighed and found a nice shady spot under a big tree. Reaching into his pouch he pulled out his well worn copy of Make-Out Paradise and opened to his favorite section.

It seemed they'd somehow stumbled into a new area, a very different area. Gone were the forests and villages, replaced now with rows of dainty houses and strategically placed trees and shrubbery. Kakashi wasn't really sure how it had happened, or why for that matter, but he felt no immediate threat and so he planned to sit down and relax and brainstorm what the three of them should do next. Though…a soft fuzzy feeling in his mind was taking hold and it was getting easier to read and harder to think of solutions.

"Ahahahahahaha!" Naruto laughed merrily as he soared through the sky, air bourn from Sakura's fierce punch.

After crash landing and slowly rolling back up to his feet he wiped some dirt from his face and smiled brightly at Sakura, "Wow I think I may have made a new record with that one. I may have flown three feet further than I ever have before!"

Sakura stared at the blue eyed blonde, expressionless. Perhaps…she should rethink her disciplining methods…she may be really causing some serious long term brain damage…and it wasn't like he had much to spare!

"Naruto…" she said quietly, controlled frustration in her tone.

"Yeah?" he looked at her expectantly, eyes bright with excitement.

"Be good." she said pinching the bridge of her nose and clenching her eyes shut.

Naruto chuckled and nodded. He took a deep breath as he surveyed the place they were in. It was pretty nice.

Sakura watched Naruto watch this new strange place. His energy never failed to amaze her…

As he paced a short distance and examined a mailbox of one of the residences here she felt a fog cloud her mind. Suddenly her concern about finding a way home was gone, and she simply wanted to explore and play in this new world.

Naruto turned back to the other two members of his team, "Hey guys, we should probably start trying to find a way to contact, granny and the others at Konoha right?"

Sakura giggled into her fist and shrugged, "Why? It's just as nice here."

She strolled off down the sidewalk as Naruto stared after her in shock.

Sakura putting pleasure before business, while they were on a mission? Something was up. Had to be.

Kakashi snickered gleefully turning the page of his book. Naruto sighed, _Looks like he's not going to be much help. But that's ok. I'll do this on my own and find a way for us to get home!_

Pumped with anticipation of completing his self assigned mission Naruto took off at a sprint.

* * *

The dark government issued car pulled over and Roy Mustang exited the vehicle. Glancing back over his shoulder he frowned at his companions. Hughes and Fullmetal.

Taking a brief moment to inwardly pout he wished Hawkeye hadn't been so angry at him this morning…then she would've ridden with him instead of Havok and Amrstrong in the second car. Then Hughes wouldn't have taken that wrong left hand turn and they wouldn't be here in no where ville! She'll feel sorry when she realizes they're not with them anymore. Oh ho ho, she'll feel really sorry!

Hughes popped out of the car after him and ambled around the car to stand beside him.

"I was checking the map, and this place isn't on it. It's not on any of them. Any idea where we are?"

Roy cast a side glance at Hughes and then over his shoulder at the grumbling blonde in their backseat. He was angry that his brother wasn't with him. Yeah well kid needed to suck it up. As an adult, which he should start acting like one, he won't always get what he wants.

Roy turned back around with a huff.

Dammit why couldn't I get stranded with Hawkeye!? Life hates me…

Hughes smirked at Roy knowingly but said nothing.

He handed over the several maps they had had in the car, "Here, see if you can make sense of our location."

Roy studied the maps with intense onyx eyes while Hughes looked around the area.

A car door slammed and boots crunched the gravel beside the road.

"Mustang, what the hell is going on? Didn't I tell you to use the little girl's room before we left? If you're looking for a rest stop just suck it up and hold it in."

Feeling his eye twitch in irritation Roy took one last moment to curse his situation once more before turning to face the short stack.

"Look, we took a wrong turn and we need to find our way back to the main road and the rest of the group. If you have nothing to say that will help us do that I suggest you keep your mouth shut. Just because you're grumpy I didn't give you a booster seat so you could see out the car window doesn't mean you can make this already hard situation harder by being a spoiled child."

Edward glared at him as his face flushed red with anger.

"Booster seat!? Who are you calling a tiny shrimp that's so small you need a magnifying glass to see!? Why I oughta kick you in the head calling me a measly bread crumb too tiny to do anything! And further more you ass, I'm no spoiled child! You're the one who pouted over an hour for not being able to ride with your military concubine! Not me!"

Roy snapped.

"She is an officer in the military and you will refrain from speaking of her in such a degrading manner. Immediately! And no, but you were the one who sat in the back whining about not riding with Al! so tell me Fullmetal, do you have a brother complex? Or is this brotherly love to a whole new level?"

"WHAT!?" Edward shrieked in shock and horror. "You sick bastard!"

Hughes popped up between them, "Hey guys I found a place that sells waffles. Let's lock up the car and go. I'm starved. What do you say? You two hungry? We've been riding for so long and I am so hungry I can't even remember the last time I ate! So come on now, let's go and chow down on some waffles. And oh! I can show you lucky suns of guns my newest pictures of my precious baby girl! Come on, come on, what are we waiting for?"

As he'd rambled Hughes had locked the car and stuffed a map and the keys in his pocket and herded both Roy and Ed towards the small diner advertising breakfast served all day. He'd single handedly prevented a brawl from starting. He was in fact, very good at doing so; he'd been doing it for years now.

Roy shook his head in amusement at his long time friend and allowed himself to be guided into the restaurant.

Upon entering his senses were flooded with savory smells and his mind fogged.

He glanced at Hughes, "What were we doing here?"

Hughes looked around confused for a short moment and then a slow smile spread on his face.

"Eating. What else would we do at a place like this?"

Ed looked at the two men like they'd grown a big slimy green head on their shoulders. "Yeah we came to eat waffles or something…and maybe we can ask fro directions back to the main road while we're in here."

The two men chuckled and headed for a back corner booth, ignoring Edward after the mention of waffles.

Grumbling about idiot military dogs Ed followed them and plopped down in the soft squishy bench seat beside Hughes.

"Seriously though, we should ask for directions. Al will worry if we don't catch up soon." Ed pressed, studying their faces for any reaction.

Roy nodded, though his eyes scoured the menu not paying Ed any real attention. Hughes replied, "Yes, yes." but like Roy was wrapped up in what he was going to order.

Slumping in his seat Ed tried to figure out what exactly was going on. Roy had been preaching at him just a moment ago and now he's all about waffles and filling his gut and that seemed to be it.

Why?

Well whether they were going to be useful or not Ed was going to find a way to get them back on the road, soon. He wasn't going to leave Al all alone for longer than he had to.

* * *

Across town a beautiful woman walked into a bar.

She sashayed to the counter and smiled coyly at the bartender, "Tell me. What is this place?"

The man blinked at her and grinned, showing off his gap from missing his right corner eye tooth.

"This is Bernie's. What can I get you?"

Lust kept her face serene and seductive. She suppressed her anger and slid onto a bar stool. This was not where she'd been headed. So how she got here was unexplainable.

"Scotch please." she purred. "But…" she pouted leaning forward, displaying her ample cleavage. "I don't have any money."

The old whiskery bartender smiled broadly, "Don't worry. This one's on the house."

She smiled, "That's so kind of you, sir."

Once he slid her the short wide glass with her drink in it Lust felt a fuzziness take her mind. Her direction was fading, her purpose now unclear…what had she been doing here again?

She glanced down at the drink sitting between her gloved finger tips on the worn wooden counter.

Ah. She was having a drink. Glancing around she wondered what she would do after this, since for some reason she couldn't really recall what she'd been planning to do before.

* * *

Cackling dangerously Naraku leaned forward, ready to go in for the kill.

Beep beep, boop, berp berp berrrrp. Doop doop doooop.

"Curses! I was so close!" he shouted slamming his fist on the arcade machine. That damn star ship just didn't follow orders correctly!

Growling furiously he stomped back over to the owner.

"Give me more." he demanded.

Frightened by the fearsome red eyed man before him the young man running the arcade handed over more quarters.

This strange man had come in snarling about a castle and a something yasha and a dog that he was guessing was a very bad dog.

Then he'd gotten a blank look on his face and he'd looked around a moment shrugged and asked for the purpose of this place. He'd told him and then he'd been demanded to show the stranger how to work the games and since then he'd been handing out quarters.

* * *

"I will not ask you again. Where am I?" a deep growl whispered venomously.

"I, I don't know what you mean! what do you want from me!?"

Gaara narrowed his eyes. This man was toying with him. He'd been very clear in asking his question. All three times he'd asked it. This fool was trying to be funny Gaara supposed. He was failing. Gaara was yet to be amused.

He tightened his grip on the mans throat a tiny bit. "You've been warned enough."

He pressed the man further against the wall and began to crush the man's windpipe.

Squirming and futilely gasping for breath the man tried to escape.

A cloud of confusion wiped Gaara's mind and he stopped suddenly, and looked around baffled. What…just happened? He dropped the man and walked away.

Where was he? What was he doing?

The soft gentle melody of an ice cream truck echoed from a distance. Gaara grinned wickedly.

Whatever it had been didn't matter. There was ice cream.

* * *

Sesshomarru looked right. He looked left.

Cars kept zooming by. The sign said to not move until the cars stopped and the light said to walk.

But it had yet to give him passage! Infuriating human rules were inferior and pointless.

Smoothly he leapt over the street to the other side of the sidewalk and continued on his way.

He wasn't sure how he came to be in this modern aged world surrounded by humans but he smelled Naraku and his idiot half brother near by. Also…he felt no desire to look for a way back to his home. Rin and Jaken would be fine for a while on their own.

He was going to…do something, what he wasn't sure yet. But he'd find something.

* * *

Finally the fog of confusion and amnesia over took the last three. Inuyasha who'd been searching for a demon's scent, and finding Naraku's had been on the trail when he'd been taken. Naruto had been talking to a shop owner when he'd been taken. Edward had been talking to a waitress when he'd been taken. The three heroes lost their focus and drive and joined the rest of the group in ignorant bliss completely unaware of what they were now doing or why. They were now puppets along with the others.

* * *

1. **Inuyasha** and **Gaara **are attacked by **Sakura** and **Roy**

The white haired dog eared hanyou smirked at the red head boy beside him. They were sitting on a park bench discussing the stupidity of humans in mass numbers.

Inuyasha found Gaara interesting to say the least. He smelled human…but also didn't. though he reeked of blood it was old and really it seemed the scent was centered on the gourd on his back.

They'd yet to cross the line into a friendship. They weren't ready to trade pasts. So for now Inuyasha would just wonder.

His ear twitched. Was that a twig snapping?

Sakura glared at her partner in crime. Stupid military boots sucked for sneaking! She resisted the urge to smack the black head in front of her and remained calm instead. Their prey was close!

Inuyasha scanned the area as did Gaara.

"Somethin's up." Inuyasha whispered.

A nod was Gaara's only reply.

Suddenly a blur of pink tackled Gaara, who'd opened his arms to catch her. And a big blob of blue took Inuyasha from behind.

Sakura giggled as she tickled Gaara and ad Roy tickled the seething hanyou he wondered how that young woman had convinced him to cast away his pride and act in such a manner…

Sakura smirked at Gaara wriggled from his arms and winked before turning on her heel and dashing away screaming victoriously.

Roy watched her leave, horror stricken.

He turned his gaze back to the furious half demon and demon possessed.

What the hell had he been thinking!?

He quickly dove his hand into his pocket for his glove and slipped it on. Standing he stood straight and held his head high.

He'd accept his fate with dignity.

…they leapt for him and he snapped his fingers, eyes tightly closed.

* * *

2.** Roy **walks in on **Hughes **and **Kagome** having sex

Sounds were coming from their hotel room. Familiar sounds. Sounds of passion.

Roy stared at the door skeptically as he thought about the options.

He was here. Obviously not getting laid.

Ed was… well he wasn't entirely sure but Roy felt safe in guessing that Ed was not getting lucky if he himself was not scoring in this brand new sea of fish.

Which left Hughes, who was married. So he was out.

Which left the very clear and obvious answer of… the house keeping maid was getting it on with her boyfriend in their room!

Having already seen their maid for the day and not wanting to miss this piece of action, and a nice chance at an eye full of sweet, sweet eye candy Roy opened the door and strutted inside.

His eyes hit the bed. Nothing. He drug them across the room and found the love making pair on the floor.

He screamed.

He blinked.

Roy screamed again.

Words finally found their way to his tongue and he demanded, "Hughes! What the hell! You're-you're married for Christ's sake!"

Hughes covered the deeply blushing Kagome as best he could and grinned sheepishly.

"Yes that's true. I am. But we agreed many years ago when I was away from the house so much cuz of my job to have a more open sexual relationship. We love only each other, but this way…we don't have to suffer through things without a way of forgetting and we don't use each other mindlessly once we are together again. We make love just to make love to each other. Not from just need and not because we want to turn our minds off for a while. It sounds horrible and unorthodox but it works for us. And Kagome here is heartbroken, the man she loves won't even give her the time of day much less his heart. I am….consoling."

Hughes realized at this time that Roy had fainted.

Hughes looked apologetically to Kagome, "I'm sorry my dear."

Kagome blushed, "I-it's no problem…"

"Shall we…?" he offered.

Bashfully she nodded. He was such a sweet gentle man.

* * *

3. **Lust** is killed how does **Naraku** respond?

Naraku smiled. His face was handsome and his motives, while not pure, were not evil. The woman sitting at the table across from his was charming, beautiful, and wickedly witty. Her dark sense of humor appealed to him and her distaste for humans was refreshing.

She'd had him smiling through their whole date and also wondering what he'd do to get her back to his room with him. He could not wait to enjoy her company further. He was already idly wondering if perhaps he'd finally found his match.

A dark beauty, made to meet his soul and stand beside him. Someone to finally rid his mind of that accursed Kikyo!

He took Lust's hand and stood, bowing his head as he rose.

"Shall we take leave?" his smooth voice asked.

Lust nodded, a smile of sweet erotic promises on her dark lips.

As they left the French bistro and crossed the street a loud horn blared out from no where. A large black truck plowed into Lust just barely missing Naraku, jerking her hand from his grip. Naraku starred, slight shock in his crimson eyes.

The truck hit a brick wall, pinning Lust to the building. She coughed up blood. A flag pole that had been on the building stuck out from her chest. She reached out to Naraku who frowned at the scene before him.

Lust's vision blurred and faded to black and then she hung limp on the pole, held against the building, her lower half nearly severed from her upper half.

Naraku cursed and turned away from the scene.

It was a damn crying shame… she'd been so lovely. This was a sad day for the world. Losing a beauty such as that.

Letting out a long sigh he rolled his shoulders and began walking back to his room. Alone. Dammit.

* * *

4. **Naraku** gets a cold what does **Sakura** do?

A sneeze in the store caught Sakura's attention.

She glanced around and saw a man who was rather handsome, in an odd way. He sniffled and blew his nose. He was covered in a thick wool blanket that was draped over his shoulders. He was studying the wall of cold medicines, a weary expression on his face.

Taking pity on the man Sakura walked over to him and asked, "Would you like some help?"

Naraku turned to her with a skeptical gaze.

There was something in his tired expression that hit Sakura. It reminded her of someone… a flash of red hair and light aqua green eyes crossed her mind.

Ah. That's who.

"I'm a medic nin. I can heal your cold and you won't need any of that icky, not to mention mostly useless medicine. What do you say?"

Naraku narrowed his eyes at her suspiciously, "Why would you help me? I will give you nothing for it. Count on that."

Sakura smiled kindly and shook her head, "I took an oath when I became a medic ninja. Part of that is to serve the people with my abilities the best I can. If I can help someone I should. Simple as that."

Thinking it over Naraku shrugged and stepped toward her, standing up straight coming up to his full height now.

Sakura smiled nervously. There was something quite….intimidating about this man.

She held out her hand and placed it on him, inspecting his body with her chakra. She sought out the places the cold had affected and then cleared it away. Several minutes later she stepped back finished with the job. The man too a deep breath and nodded. She'd done a good job.

She bowed and offered one last smile before turning and walking away.

"Have a nice day sir." she called as she left the store. Naraku stared after her and then turned abruptly and disappeared in thin air.

* * *

5. **Ed**, **Hughes**, and **Kagome **attend **Naruto** and **Sesshomaru**'s wedding

"Where are we going?" Kagome asked Hughes.

The man turned smiling green eyes on her, "I heard there was a wedding today. Let us go and crash it and enjoy the atmosphere and the great free food."

Ed popped out of a store.

"Hey Hughes! Where have you been? You were supposed to meet me here hours ago!"

Hughes looked at Kagome, remembered their previous events and smiled at Edward. "Sorry, something came up."

Ed rolled his eyes and joined them, "So where are you two headed?"

He eyed Kagome who smiled at him and waved.

Hughes remembered his manners and introduced them, "Ah forgive me Edward, this is Kagome Higurashi. Kagome this is Edward Elric, the full metal alchemist."

"Oh I get it. He works where you do." she guessed.

Hughes smiled at her and nodded, "That's right. He's still new at it though."

"Hey that doesn't mean I can't already kick most the other state alchemists' butts!" Ed declared proudly.

Kagome noticed his golden eyes and felt a small pang in her chest. Inuyasha…he'd left her. Just up and walked away while her back was turned.

Hughes guided her and Ed to a church as he explained what they were doing to Ed.

The church was very full. It seemed a young man was going to be marrying the mayor's daughter and all the town was out to see the joyous occasion.

The music began and from the front of the church, the doors on the sides of the front wall opened and in walked two men in tuxedoes.

Kagome gasped in shock.

That long white hair! That "I'm so much better than you" walk. Those markings. That was Inuyasha's brother Sesshomaru! He was getting married?! To a human!?

The other person who walked out was a young blonde man with bright blue eyes and a wide friendly smile. He was most definitely not the bride. Perhaps the best man? But here Kagome had thought the only friend Sesshomaru had was Jaken…that nasty little imp.

The bridal march began to play and the doors to the back of the church swung open.

Down the carpeted isle came a sweet little girl in a puffy pink dress. Hanging on her arm was a basket of flower petals, that she forgot to throw down.

The bridesmaids began walking down but no body was watching them.

They'd all followed the little girl's path to find a scene unfolding at the front of the church.

"What is this?" Sesshomaru said anger showing in his soft harsh voice.

The blonde was louder, "Yeah old man you said you'd pay me if I took your daughter. I thought you meant date! Not marry! I don't wanna get married! I'm too young!"

Sesshomaru cut an icy glare at the blonde, "Quiet." he turned back to the man, "You were bestowed with the high honor of explaining this place to this Sesshomaru. Now you try to pull tricks? You'll pay with your pathetic human life for this."

Naruto snapped at Sesshomaru, "You can't just kill him just cuz he's sneaky! What's wrong with you?!"

"I can do whatever I please, fake demon." Sesshomaru scoffed. His claws on the single hand he possessed began to glow a sickly yellow green.

Mean while the crowd was beginning to murmur and whisper about how their mayor was such a disgrace.

The man cried out in fear and ran to the mike. He had a way to distract the angry men and save his reputation. "Ladies and gentleman. Sesshomaru and Naruto! The first life partners of our town! I give them my full support."

Naruto whipped around, "WHHHAAAAAAT?!"

Sesshomaru lifted a brow elegantly and sneered down at the blonde, "Opposed to killing him now?"

Naruto's eyes flickered red, "Not at all."

Kagome giggled as the two moved to attack the poor man. She'd never thought she'd see Sesshomaru in a wedding much less a gay wedding! She couldn't wait to tell Inuyasha…wherever he was. She turned to Hughes and Ed and saw them trying not to laugh. She began telling them about Sesshomaru. Which led to them not only laughing but falling on the floor in a laughing fit, tears streaming down their faces and sides clenching I pain from laughing too hard.

* * *

6. **Naruto** robs **Hughes**, what do they steal?

Hughes sat outside waiting for Kagome to come back from inside the store. She'd had to go use the bathroom.

He glanced across the street at the large multitude of screaming females. They were the single, some not so much single, women who had heard of the two very attractive bachelors. The ones who apparently weren't really gay.

Hughes saw a black blur rush from the back of the church to a tree then to another tree then to a street cab. It was that blonde boy. The one who wasn't marrying that other guy. He seemed to be arguing with the cab driver.

The boy stamped his foot and waved his arms.

The antics caught the attention of the women, who Hughes would guess are exactly who the boy had been hoping to use the cab to escape.

The boy turned and saw them coming he screamed in terror and ran away. He ran by the store Hughes was standing outside of and dove behind the large blue postal mailbox. The horde of screaming women stampeded by and Hughes found himself clinging to a wall for dear life.

Once the herd had disappeared and it was safe to quit raping the wall Hughes let go and stepped away.

He turned around to see a frantic panic eyed Naruto.

"Look mister. I'm not usually like this. I'm a good guy not a bad guy. But I'm desperate! Those ladies are gonna kill me! So I'm telling you now, give m your wallet so I can take that cab or I will make you give it to me!"

Hughes stared at the boy for a long second and then sighed and handed it over.

Naruto grinned his thanks nodded and took off running for the cab that still sat there.

Hughes looked down at the ground sadly. That wasn't a battle worth fighting…but still how humiliating. To be mugged by a young man running from women.

A horrible thought then hit Hughes.

His pictures! All his beautiful baby pictures of Elysia were in his wallet!

Crumpling to the ground in a big pile of emo despair Hughes mourned his loss.

* * *

7. **Sesshomaru** helps **Kakashi** bake cookies

The screaming stampede after him was horrifying. So many women. He'd never witnessed such a thing in all his years.

Sesshomaru dove into an open door and slammed it shut behind him. He leaned against it and closed his eyes to recollect himself.

"Hello? You need something?" a masculine voice questioned from a short distance away.

Sesshomaru's gold eyes snapped open and he stared at the man before him. His grey hair was styled atrociously, it stuck up and out nearly everywhere. It was as if he'd never even laid eyes on a hairbrush before. He wore a mask covering a majority of his face, leaving one corner and eye exposed. He was dressed in an attire that told of his occupation, ninja. It was different from how ninja dressed in his time but as things had taken a very odd turn recently Sesshomaru doubted little and questioned even less.

Sesshomaru straightened his back and stood up with his back straight and his head held high. He'd present himself with dignity, regardless of whether or not he'd just fled a pack of overly hormonal female humans.

"I need nothing."

Kakashi eyed the man who'd come diving into his open door.

He cast a forlorn look at his tiny kitchenette area and the smoke still billowing from the burnt black circular crisps.

Returning his gaze to the white haired man, who looked very…pretty.

"Well if you don't need anything, I'm going to ask you to exit my hotel room. I am in the middle of something." Kakashi said, a slight bored tone to his voice.

Sesshomaru regarded the man and the foul scent that permeated the room's atmosphere.

The man had burnt something, badly. Even Rin could cook without burning something this bad.

A flashback of the first time she'd cooked and how it had been presented to him as a small pile of ash and a bowl of dark lethal smelling goop he amended his thought. Rin could cook without burning something this bad _now_.

The women were still running around the area. Sesshomaru was not about to go back out there just yet. He had no desire to place himself in unnecessary situations.

"I'm staying here."

Kakashi who'd turned back to his kitchen mess glanced over his shoulder. "You're staying here? In my room? Funny…I thought I registered this as a private room."

"No. It is not my room. But I will be staying here until further notice." Sesshomaru said, his voice daring the one eyed man to challenge his authority.

Kakashi smiled knowingly, though because of his mask it was barely noticeable. The only sign was that his exposed eye crinkled at the sides a slight bit.

"Well alright but if you're staying you're helping." he said with a shrug.

Sesshomaru rose an slender brow.

"This Sesshomaru does not cook." he scoffed.

Kakashi turned to stare at him.

_What an odd fellow_, he thought.

Shrugging Kakashi pointed to the door, "Then leave I don't need any distractions."

Sesshomaru made a point to sit on the bed to show he was going no where until he himself said he was going.

Kakashi sighed and shook his head, "I hate to do this to you then."

He walked to the door and opened it.

Sesshomaru rose to his feet, watching the man warily.

"Hey girls!" Kakashi shouted to the large herd frantically searching Sesshomaru out.

Sesshomaru growled and said through grit teeth, "Fine. I'll help."

Kakashi smiled and shouted, "Goodluck finding that pretty guy! I think he headed for the bus station!"

The females screamed their thanks and their anger at Sesshomaru escaping and turned and ran for the bus station.

Kakashi turned back to Sesshomaru, "Did you know a bus station is a place of public transit? It is. I was shocked too. They have large vehicles powered by some potent smelling liquid. They fit many, many people and they take a person to the next town, to a part of this town or some even take people across this country. Fascinating is it not?"

Sesshomaru felt his eye twitch. Had he just trapped himself with such a creature? Truly? Did he voluntarily do this?

Resisiting the urge to sigh he turned to the mess in the kitchen and held his breath, stepping into the small area.

Kakashi followed and began explaining, "I had a craving for sugar cookies. I found a woman to tell me what I would need to make them. She said the best were made from scratch. So I gathered the ingredients and put them together as instructed by these written directions she'd given me. I put them in my oven and soon there was smoke, and that thing on the ceiling was beeping and flashing, and they came out like this. These are nothing like how they should be. I'm about to try again and then if they fail a second time I am going to locate that woman and tell her that her information is false. that this is not how you make sugar cookies."

"Quiet. You explain too much." Sesshomaru's cold quiet voice informed him.

Kakashi smiled at him, trying to remain friendly, "Well I used to be a teacher, guess I got in the habit of it…"

Sesshomaru waved him away, "Enough. Hand the instructions to me."

Kakashi obliged and watched the long haired man study the lady's wide curvy writing.

"Simple." Sesshomaru said nodding and turning to the mess.

With one swipe of his hand he knocked the blackened cookies and the dishes away, sending it all to the floor with a clatter.

Kakashi rose his brow but watched on intrigued.

"Ingredients." Sesshomaru said as he took another large bowl from the small set Kakashi had bought.

Kakashi hurriedly handed Sesshomaru the ingredients and watched with anticipation. He may get his cookies after all!

Sesshomaru measured and added ingredients as instructed.

Stomach gurgling at the idea of warm gooey cookies Kakashi offered to help, "Hey, what can I do?"

"Stand back."

Frowning a bit Kakashi stepped back from the other man and stared at his back.

His gaze lingered on the long fluffy boa like thing that hung off one shoulder.

"What's this?" he asked, attempting conversation. Which he guessed was much harder with this man than it should be.

Sesshomaru jerked around and narrowed his eyes at Kakashi, "Do not touch that. It is not of your concern."

"I was just trying to make conversation."

"Unnecessary."

"Then what am I supposed to do? Just stand here and stare at your back the whole time?"

"No." Sesshomaru said turning and then turning back bowl in hand. He thrust it at Kakashi. "Mix this."

"What? You do the easy parts but I get the hard job?"

"Mix your ingredients wretched human. Or this Sesshomaru is no longer helping."

"It's not really helping if you do everything…" Kakashi grumbled but begrudgingly began stirring the mixture.

He noticed then that Sesshomaru had only one arm.

_That was why…oh, ok. _

Once it was all mixed he handed it back and Sesshomaru shook his head. "It's not helping if you do nothing. Put small amounts of that on this."

He slid a long dark metal pan on the tiny counter over to sit in front of Kakashi.

Once again Kakashi guessed this would be a difficult task for a man with one arm so he did so without complaint. He'd dip the spoon in the bowl and then plop the gooey batter on the pan.

He felt Sesshomaru's gaze on him.

"Ready to tell me what that fluff is?" Kakashi teased.

"Quiet."

"Hai, hai." Kakashi waved his harsh tone away as he finished placing the cookie dough.

"Now what?"

"Is the oven on the right temperature?" Sesshomaru asked, suppressing the urge to sigh.

"Pretty sure…" Kakashi mumbled staring at the oven as if it were a foreign object.

Sesshomaru shook his head, he'd just now on this day laid eyes on one and he suspected he knew more of what to do with it than this man.

They both reached for the dial on the stove. Their fingers brushed and both men jerked their hand back. Kakashi's elbow hit an open bag of flour on the counter behind him.

Curse these small quarters!

The flour knocked over and a cloud of white went up. Most of the bag's contents spilling on to an irate dog demon.

"Fool. Leave this area." came a very dark voice.

Kakashi looked through the fading cloud and saw a very white Sesshomaru.

Sesshomaru raised his brows at Kakashi and glanced down at himself. He wore a lot of white…but this was ridiculous. He was filthy.

"Step away." he said firmly.

Kakashi, who was brushing himself off, looked to Sesshomaru, saw just how much more covered the man was, and nodded obeying without question.

Sesshomaru then allowed himself a single sigh. He was not happy. This was not worth staying away from those cursed women.

He left the kitchen area and went to the bathroom to attempt cleaning himself up. He entered the small bathroom and turned glaring at Kakashi as he shut the door with a quick click.

Eventually it seemed he wasn't going to be coming back out. Kakashi was about to knock on the door to ask if he needed anything when the door swung open and there stood a perfectly good as new Sesshomaru.

Kakashi looked down at his own clothes that had white smears all over them and then at the colored areas of Sesshomaru's clothing that held no sign of ever even bearing flour.

What did he do in there?

Sesshomaru stepped around Kakashi and then returned to the kitchen.

Kakashi realized what he was doing and shouted, "No wait!"

Too late.

Sesshomaru slipped and let out a very undignified yelp as his feet left the floor and his bottom quickly found it.

Sitting on the wet, recently mopped floor, he glared up at the masked ninja.

"I uh…tried to warn you. I cleaned the kitchen while you were in there…" Kakashi said with an awkward chuckle.

Sesshomaru bit the inside of his cheek and stood. He resituated himself and turned to the oven. He set the dial to the right temperature and uncaringly shoved the cookie pan into the oven.

He set the time Kakashi had bought with his ingredients to the directed time and then turned to Kakashi.

"Go buy milk." he ordered.

Kakashi stared at him, confusion in his hardly shown expression. "What…?"

"The instructions say best served warm with milk. You have none. Go buy it now."

"Yeah but I don't really want milk so I just skipped that and thought it'd be ok…" Kakashi said slowly.

Sesshomaru glared, "You asked this Sesshomaru to help. You will go get milk. This will be done right."

Kakashi figured that since he'd thrown flour at the guy and knocked the man on his ass with warm water and soap on the floor he'd go buy milk for him. OCD little freak that he apparently was…

He nodded and held his hands up in surrender, "Alright, I'll go buy milk."

Kakashi left the room and Sesshomaru smirked once the room door shut.

Now he had several minutes of peace before that fool would be back.

He walked over to the bed and sat down on the soft cushy surface.

Stretching out on it he sighed and allowed himself to give into a desire he'd had for many minutes now.

He rubbed his sore bottom and frowned.

Idiot bastard…

Just as the timer went off and Sesshomaru rose from the bed to take the cookies out Kakashi came trotting through the door.

He plowed into Sesshomaru and the milk jug went up as Kakashi went down.

Sesshomaru when standing was like a brick wall apparently…

Sesshomaru quickly snatched the milk that had been on a direct path for his head out of the air and narrowed his eyes at Kakashi.

"That would have been three. Are you doing these things on purpose?"

Kakahsi smiled sheepishly, "Why would I be a clutz on purpose."

Sesshomaru studied him a long moment and then remembered the cookies.

He set the milk on the counter and took the cookies out.

Kasha appeared behind him, happily taking a deep breath.

"Ah! These smell delicious! Sesshomaru, you are a master chef!" Kakashi praised.

Sesshomaru turned to him and shoved a cookie in his mouth and a cup of milk in his hand.

"Quiet." he ordered.

Kakashi chewed the very hot cookie and stared at the man in front of him.

Sesshomaru stared at him and narrowed his eyes as he turned to say, "My debt to you is repaid. I'll be leaving."

Kakashi grabbed his empty sleeve, "You didn't have a cookie yet though."

Sesshomaru shook his head. "I want none."

Shaking his head as well Kakashi ignored the man and returned the early favor. He stuffed a cookie in Sesshomaru's mouth as he was just closing it from finishing speaking.

Anger flashed in Sesshomaru's eyes and he slammed his fist down on Kakashi's head.

"Idiot." Sesshomaru grumbled as he took a sip of milk from the cup in Kakashi's hand he'd yet to use.

Having had his milk and cookie Sesshomaru turned, his hair spinning out with the motion, and he stalked elegantly to the door.

Without another word to Kakashi he left, closing the door behind him.

Kakashi stared at the door with amusement.

It was so much fun annoying people like that guy.

He took another cookie and bit into it. But he had to give it to the stoic demon, he made one hell of a cookie!

* * *

8. **Gaara** stays the night at **Ed**'s house

Gaara stared angrily at the man behind the reception counter. He didn't care if some comic book convention was in town. He wanted a room. He may not sleep but he wanted a private sanctuary away from strangers. This man was refusing him that.

And he refused, absolutely refused to hunt down that damn pink haired girl and stay with her. He didn't care how special she was to Naruto, she was too perky for his liking.

Gaara growled quietly and grabbed the man's shirt collar, "Give me a room and I'll spare your life."

The man stammered out in a panicked shriek, "But I really don't have anything else!"

Edward munching on a cheeseburger walked by and noticed the scene.

He hurriedly came to the man's rescue.

"Hey, what's the problem here?" he asked calmly, noticing the slightly crazed look in the red head's eye.

Gaara turned to the blonde boy behind him and said, "This doesn't concern you."

Ed gave a little half shrug, "Actually when you start treating people like that it becomes my concern. Now set the guy down right and let's talk about this or take this outside. I'm happy either way."

Edward alchemized his metal arm, changing it to a long broad blade.

Gaara studied the boy, intrigued with what kind of jutsu that was.

He dropped the man and turned to Edward. He was a much better opponent.

"Very well. A fight. If you win I leave the man alone. If I win I get your room, that's your room key in your pocket isn't it?"

Edward wasn't sure if the guy was serious or not. Was all this really over him not having a place to stay? Well heck that's easy enough to fix.

Edward chuckled, "If this is what that's all about just come stay with me. If you need a room that bad. I have two beds."

Gaara narrowed his eyes at him and gave a slow nod. Edward motioned and started for his room.

Gaara followed after the guy watching as he changed his arm from a blade back to an arm.

Edward opened his door and swung it open stepping aside so Gaara could enter.

As Gaara passed by Edward he said, "I do not ever sleep."

Edward laughed nervously, this is what he gets for being such a nice guy…

Rubbing the back of his neck he mumbled as he entered his room after the angry red head he muttered, "Funny…I prob'ly won't be sleeping tonight either…"

* * *

9. **Hughes** takes **Naruto **and **Gaara **out partying

How had it come to this?

Gaara stared at the tipsy Naruto and the quite intoxicated Hughes and he wondered the same question he had been asking himself since they'd entered this loud, foul smelling place.

He thought back to how he'd come across Naruto and the man in glasses while leaving that blonde boy's room this morning.

The glasses man had known the blonde and apparently Naruto knew the glasses man.

Naruto had been laughing with him about stealing something and offered to make it up to him.

The glasses man, Hughes, had waved it off saying to think nothing of it- though Gaara wasn't sure how one could think nothing of something- and Hughes had said he was just happy to have his pictures back.

Gaara had then been shown said pictures. Naruto had saved the man named Hughes from an untimely death. And it had snowballed from there. It had all happened very quickly…

Now he sat at a small table that could serve no real purpose but to hold a single cup…or a man's face as it seemed.

Hughes was licking it with full face contact…

Naruto giggled at Gaara and grabbed his hand, "Let's go dance!"

Gaara rose his eye brows in shock. He was jerked to the dance floor where there were surely too many people in one area. It had to be some kind of health code violation…or fire code maybe? Shit he didn't know. He just knew it was wrong.

Naruto giggled again and began dancing…somewhat.

Gaara stood there with his arms crossed over his chest, frowning at the fox boy.

He would not dance. He would not drink. This was all very stupid.

Hughes stood and shouted something in jibberish- or perhaps it was pig latin?- before stumbling to the dance floor too.

Gaara sighed. Friendship was not worth this. It couldn't be.

He looked at Naruto who was smiling dumbly at a flashing light in the ceiling.

Sighing once more Gaara grabbed Naruto's hand and dragged the boy away. Leaving Hughes dancing on the dance floor, waving his arms madly; all alone.

* * *

10. **Inuyasha** needs advice and goes to **Sakura **for it

A loud sigh escaped the hanyou's lips. She refused to even talk to him or listen to what he had to say now. He was screwed. Deep down Inuyasha knew it was wrong to have left her but she just didn't care…about something he'd thought was important. It had to be important or he wouldn't have left Kagome for it. Right? He wasn't that bad of a guy…

But at any rate, for whatever the reason, he left her to do…something or other and now she wasn't even acknowledging his existence. She was off hanging with those other people. That blonde boy and his friend in glasses.

Inuyasha kicked a tuft of grass and sent several of the slender green blades fluttering into the air.

With a huff he plopped down on the ground and proceeded to mope.

While he sat there moping a familiar female walked by him.

She had pink hair and a memory flashed in Inuyasha's mind.

She's that girl who attacked me and Gaara!

Looking forward to a chance to get rid of some of his angry energy Inuyasha leapt to his feet and snarled after her, "Hey, you bitch! You think you can attack me like you did and get away with it?"

He swung his fist to strike her. He wouldn't use his sword or claws; she was just a woman after all and he didn't like hurting women…unless they were women like Kagura, now that was a bitch he wouldn't mind putting his claws through.

The pink haired girl vanished before his eyes.

A blow hit him in the back of the head and Inuyasha whirled around brandishing his claws now.

What the hell was this?! She was no normal woman!

Sakura smirked and teased him saying, "What was that about not getting away with it?"

Furious Inuyasha dove for her again.

Sakura blew him a kiss before disappearing in a cloud.

Outraged that she was using some kind of trick to dodge him Inuyasha jerked Tessuiaga from it's sheath.

He would blow this girl away!

In the back of his mind he registered the fact that he was much more aggressive without Kagome with him. And the fact that she was not only not with him but refusing to even see him was enough to make him quite ferocious.

Sakura narrowed her eyes at the guy before her. He was drawing his sword on her? He was serious then?

Well that changed everything. She didn't want to hurt anybody because of a silly game she'd played. It wasn't a battle worth fighting.

Sakura held up her hands to show she wasn't going to attack.

Inuyasha paused and stared her down, growling.

"Are you really that angry at me and Roy play attacking you and Gaara?" she asked confusion in her emerald eyes.

Narrowing his eyes at her Inuyasha thought it over.

Was he really mad because of that or was he just looking for a fight?

He sighed wearily and put his sword away.

"Keh." he turned away from Sakura, "Fine, get out of here."

Crossing his arms over his chest Inuyasha sulked as he walked towards a tree to sit in and clear his mind.

Sakura watched the white haired boy walk away with his shoulders slumped in defeat and her heart went out to the guy. Something big must have had him down, either that or he liked fighting way too much for a healthy minded person…meaning he was like Naruto and Gaara and pretty much all the other boys she knew…

Sakura offhandedly wondered if she should look into finding new male company as she followed Inuyasha to the tree.

She saw the furry white ear on top of his head swivel in her directions for a brief second.

"Hey. I know it's none of my business but something seems to be bothering you. Is there anything I can do to help you?" she asked him softly, a smile warming her features.

Inuyasha studied her with aloof eyes.

"Why're you askin?" he muttered after a long moment.

Sakura shrugged, "You look really down and I want to help if I can. I don't really have any more reason than that."

That was how Kagome looked at things…

An idea popped in Inuyasha's head. If this girl thought like Kagome she could probably give a good idea as to how he should make things up to Kagome!

A smirk pulled at his lips and he quickly jumped down to Sakura.

"Alright."

Her genuine smile and happy expression took him off by surprise and Inuyasha noticed she was actually very pretty with her weird colored hair and bright eyes.

Shaking that thought away he focused on getting Kagome back. That was more important. …Because she could find jewel shards and this girl couldn't…

Feeling rightly justified Inuyasha folded his arms into his sleeves and at Sakura's prompt told her the whole story.

She nodded and "hm"d as he explained the situation and finally when he got to the end of how Kagome had yelled at him and told him she wasn't talking to him ever again and then slammed a hotel door in his face.

Sakura shook her head at him and said, "How could you possibly think leaving her alone in a strange new place was ok?"

Inuyasha scowled and gave a half hearted shrug, "I was going to find…a way to get us home I think…and she wasn't interested."

"So you just left her." Sakura said blankly.

"Well I was going to come back for her when I found the way…but I…didn't find anything…"

Sakura studied Natasha a second, he was suddenly really confused about something.

"What is it?" she asked.

Inuyasha shook his head, "It's nothing. Anyway can you help me or not?"

"Well you did her really wrong leaving her all alone, you know that. So you have to do something really good for her now. Something big that shows how sorry you are. Big apologies aren't always needed or wanted but after being left she probably feels very unimportant to you. She probably feels like something you can ust cast aside and come back for when you need her for something. No girl wants to feel like that…"

Her eyes got hazy a second as an old memory resurfaced.

Inuyasha stared at her, puzzled at her expression and let her words sink in. He'd made Kagome feel…unimportant and unwanted. Feh! Stupid wench knew he needed her, he told her before!

Sakura had pushed her dark reminiscing away and was watching the different emotions cross over Inuyasha's face.

"Inuyasha?" she asked.

He looked at her, silently waiting for whatever she called his name for.

"Is she important to you?"

He frowned and furrowed his brow, "Heh I need her to help find the shards and defeat Naraku."

Sakura frowned as well and shook her head, _Poor Kagome…he's clueless…or maybe…just being stubborn and not admitting the truth…_

"Well do you want her around?" she tried again.

"Feh weren't you listenin? I need her help finding those damn shards." he snapped.

Sakura shook her head, "Inuyasha…that's not the same thing. Need is important, but want is just as important. A girl has to feel needed and wanted to feel important to somebody. If you want Kagome to know she is important to you, and she is or you wouldn't be this worried about making up with her, then you are going to have to out right tell her. Seems like you've tried to keep her in the dark so much that's she's completely blind to how much she means to you."

Inuyasha frowned, "You don't have any idea what you're talking about."

Sakura smiled kindly, "If you say so Inuyasha. Just think about it ok? And remember, you need to do something big to show her you're sorry this time."

She waved and walked off.

The hanyou watched her retreating back until she breeched a small hill and disappeared from out of sight.

* * *

11. **Lust** steals **Inuyasha**'s car

Inuyasha walked the sidewalks starring at the many strange things of this world, a permanent scowl on his handsome face.

He'd seen an electronics store a few blocks back and a commercial had said that nothing said I'm sorry like a good gift. But he hadn't been able to find the store they'd shown in the commercial.

So here he was wandering aimlessly.

He passed a used car lot and beheld something that made him smile.

A man shook another man's hand. That second man then handed the first man something small and metal that jingled. The first man then turned and smiled at the girl at his side and handed it to her. She cheered and clapped and jumped on the man with a big hug.

This was a way he could make Kagome feel better! He could get her those jingly metal things!

He watched fascinated as the man and girl got in one of this metal death traps like Kagome's mom had and they drove away.

Frowning Inuyasha walked into the car lot.

The salesman noticed the gaudy red outfit and sword instantly.

"Ah a man of style!" he exclaimed walking up to Inuyasha, hand extended for a hand shake.

Inuyasha eyed him warily, not liking the way this man smelled. He let the man shake his rather limp hand and then guide him towards the brick building behind them.

"So, sir, are you interested in buying one of our fine automobiles?" the sleezy man said, beaming.

His commission was going to be great today!

Inuyasha glared at him and shrugged the man's hand away. Crossing his arms he demanded, "Will it make Kagome forgive me?"

The salesman wasn't sure what kind of girl this Kagome was, but he felt confident in his next reply.

"She will take you back and even take you to bed if you buy her a car. It never fails, son."

Inuyasha sighed and looked at the rows and rows of cars, a strange look very much akin to horror on his face.

"We have a financing option so if money is the problem don't let it be. We want to help you drive away in one of these great machines today." the man coaxed never once losing his smile.

Inuyasha's mouth pulled to one side as he thought about it. He wanted Kagome to forgive him…and this had made that other girl happy…

"But I hate feeling trapped in those things…" he muttered.

"How about a convertible then?" the man offered, money signs appearing in his mind.

Inuyasha stared at him, "What's that?"

Taking this young man's lack of car knowledge in stride he guided Inuyasha to a specific row of cars.

"A car with a no top option. You can feel the wind in you hair as you drive. It is all the speed and comfort of a car but with the freedom a simple car can't offer."

Inuyasha stared at the first convertible car in the row. It was as red as his clothes.

"And you're sure Kagome will forgive me if I bring her this?" he asked still unsure.

Sakura had said something big…was this big enough?

The salesman nodded, "She definitely will. Whatever you did will be wiped from her mind the minute you drive up in this baby."

Inuyasha gawked at the big car. This was a baby…? He wondered just how big an adult was.

At that moment a large hulking truck drove by and Inuyasha felt his question had been answered.

"Ok. I'll take it then." Inuyasha answered after some thought.

The salesman clapped his hands together happily.

"Great then just follow me and we will fill out the paperwork so you can leave with your new car."

Inuyasha turned to stare at him, "Paperwork?"

Inuyasha stalked out of the building many hours later. Paperwork was a level in hell! He knew it! They asked stupid questions! He didn't know half of that crap. But the man with the bad smell had given him answers to put. Except when it came time for the payment part. Inuyasha had signed some paper saying he'd pay every month, but the man said he could have the first five months free.

Inuyasha couldn't for the life of him remember what a month was…so he just nodded and took the jingly metal things when the man handed them to him.

He stood there waiting as the man brought his car around and he felt a strange feeling pool up inside him as he watched it pull towards him.

That was his. Cool.

Smiling he nodded at the salesman and walked around to where he stood.

Inuyasha was aware that he didn't know how to work this thing but he figured if this guy and Kagome's mom could do it how hard could it be?

He held up the jingly metal things and smiled at them before moving to get into the car.

A hand reached out and snatched his jinglys away.

Inuyasha turned and snarled at the busty woman.

Her hair was a bit of a mess and her eyes were blazing with rage.

Lust got in Inuyasha's car and slammed the door shut. Inuyasha opened his mouth to demand her to get out but was cut off by the roar of the engine and the tires squealing as she peeled out and drove away. She gripped the steering wheel tightly and glared at the horizon.

Damn that Naraku! She'd find him and then she'd kick his ass for ditching her like that!

Inuyasha turned to the salesman whose mouth was hanging open in shock.

He turned his stunned gaze to Inuyasha and said with an uneasy smile, "Uh…no refunds…?"

Inuyasha wasn't sure what the hell a refund was but he knew that tone.

He cursed. He'd wasted all that time for nothing! Now he couldn't give Kagome a car!

Snarling he stomped toward the man. With the bad mood Inuyasha had going he was going to blame this man. A feral grin slid across his face as he approached.

The man saw him crack his knuckles, displaying his very lethal looking claws.

He screamed, a high pitch shrill sound, and ran away like the coward he was. Inuyasha gave chase.

* * *

12. **Roy**, **Kakashi**, and **Sesshomaru** show up at **Inuyasha**'s house drunk

Later that night Inuyasha collapsed onto a nice fluffy bed.

It was nice of that man to give Inuyasha his house.

Inuyasha smirked and remembered the way the coward had handed over everything he owned. Yes, very nice indeed.

He would get a nice good restful night and then he'd go back out tomorrow and look for another kind of gift for Kagome. Something big.

Inuyasha rolled over and closed his eyes, letting sleep slowly take him.

CRASH!

Golden eyes popped open.

Inuyasha sat up and taking Tessuiaga in hand he crept out of the bedroom and towards the front room.

He peeked out the window and gasped at what he saw.

Sesshomaru! And that guy who helped Sakura attack him and Gaara! And…some other guy.

Something was off with his asshole brother though…

He swayed a little uneasily and smiled- actually friggin smiled!- at the nameless man Inuyasha didn't know. Suddenly Sesshomaru jerked his gaze to the window Inuyasha was standing at and he saw his brother.

Inuyasha put his hand on the hilt of his sword, ready for anything.

"Hi Inuuuuyaashaaa!" he waved as his usually cold voice slurred Inuyasha's name all over a well placed hiccup that appeared in the middle of his name right at the first "ah" in his name.

Inuyasha's ears fell down, pointing out at the sides, and his arms dropped down to hang beside him. Ok…so he hadn't been ready for anything.

Sesshomaru advanced, "What brings you here?"

Inuyasha continued to stare in shock. Dazedly he wondered if that wasn't his line. Shouldn't he be asking the visitors of his house what brings them here?

Sesshomaru opened the door and walked in like he owned the place. Some things just never changed…

Inuyasha's nose was assaulted with the smell of alcohol. It burned his sensitive nose and he recoiled from it appalled at how much his brother reeked of it. What had Sesshomaru been doing?!

_Figures_, Inuyasha grumbled inwardly, _I am trying to find Kagome and go home and he's out there partying with strangers! Mature brother my ass!_

The other two men followed him up the walk way.

Sesshomaru came to Inuyasha and tried to hug him as way of greeting. Inuyasha jumped back out of reach just in time.

He watched his brother frown slightly, huff and then turn to the other guys.

"This is my brother, he's a good kid he'll let us stay here for the night. Come on." he waved a hand as he strolled through the house towards the kitchen. He had a nice case of the munchies going down.

Roy smiled at Inuyasha and strutted over to him eyeing him up like…prey.

Inuyasha glared at the black haired man, "What'da'ya want?"

Roy raised his hand and petted Inuyasha's hair. He ran his hands down the surface of it and smiled brighter.

"You are…berry pretteh…you 'ave berry pretteh hair…"

Inuyasha's eyes widened to the size of baseballs. "W-What?!"

Roy moved his hand down off of Inuyasha's hair and on to his bottom.

Face flushed with anger Inuyasha shouted as he shoved Roy's hand away, "O-oi! I ain't no woman! Get your crap hands offa me!"

Roy pulled Inuyasha close and stroked his cheek, "Yer a berry pretteh woman."

Inuyasha's eye twitched. He slammed his fist down on Roy's head. Roy was down for the count…and wasn't getting back up.

Kakashi giggled into his hand, "K! Ohhhh!"

Inuyasha glared at him, "Don't get me started on you!"

Kakashi's eye widened and he stared at Inuyasha and then he giggled again.

Inuyasha stomped away from the giggling grown man and found Sesshomaru in the kitchen eating cereal...from a boot.

"Hello."

His voice sounded a bit more like his normal self now…but still a bit…off.

Inuyasha approached him warily.

"Uh yeah, hey…" he mumbled as he came to sit down across from his brother.

"Care to tell me what the hell happened Sesshomaru?" he snapped.

Sesshomaru stared at him a moment and then sighed and shook his head, "You wouldn't believe me even if I told you."

Inuyasha narrowed his eyes, "Try me."

"Okay okay okaaay. Well. I baked cookies for Kakashi. But I left. But then he found me. Then he saw some blonde kid he knew with some guy telling him something about his friend. The blonde kid asked Kakashi to help Roy, the guy he'd talked to, cuz his friend was at a club drunk and alone. I didn't want to go…but for some reason I did anyway. And we got there and we found the man had gone home by a taxi, do you know what a taxi is? Its like a bus but little and yellow or white…very interesting. See it comes and picks you up and-"

"Sesshomaru!" Inuyasha barked, interrupting him, "Get on with it!"

Sesshomaru frowned but nodded and continued, "So Roy said since we were there we should go ahead and get a drink. Kakashi agreed and they started making friends. Again I didn't want to…but Kakashi gave me this drink, it smelled like strawberries but weird and so I drank it because I was…curious I guess. Anyway after that I wanted to try other drinks because that one was good. Some of them are good but some are just awful. Then Roy started this game with these girls…and then another game with the hoses that sprayed drinks. We got kicked out… Then, we were walking back to…somewhere…and I saw you!"

Inuyasha stared at him in awe. He really had gone partying! And then brought his drunk ass self and his stupid friends here where he was probably not going to get any peace tonight now.

"I hate you." he grumbled as he slumped down into his chair crossing his arms with a huff.

They heard laughter from the front room and then saw Roy run by the door way followed by Kakashi.

"Chase me around the living room! Chase me, chase me!" Roy laughed.

Kakashi grinned and stumbled after him, arms stretched out reaching for a man about a foot away that was…sadly too far away for his alcohol drowned brain to handle.

Sesshomaru chuckled and slurped more cereal from his boot.

Inuyasha groaned and threw an arm over his eyes, leaning his head back to rest on the chair.

It was going to be one long hell of a night…

* * *

13. **Naruto** humps **Sakura**, how does **Naraku** get revenge?

Sakura was walking towards her hotel room humming softly. It had been a long day. She was completely wiped. The part of her brain that wasn't quite dead yet wondered how Inuyasha had faired. But the rest of her was to tired to care.

She saw that guy she'd helped at the store, the guy with the cold. She waved politely, he just looked at her.

Well…some people. She huffed inwardly.

Suddenly a pair of strong arms wrapped around her from behind.

She tried to turn and see who it was but they held her fast where she was. She was pressed against a firm chest and she gasped when she felt a hand run up her body.

"H-hey!" she shouted, indignant and embarrassed.

The man chuckled behind her and she discovered their identity.

"Mmmm, Sakura…you are so beautiful. I love you. You know I love you don't you?" he murmured against her neck, sending shivering chills down her spine.

"N-Naruto, cut this out what the heck is gotten into you?"

'Tequila." he chuckled as he nipped her neck causing her to stiffen in shock.

"What are you doing?" she asked, her voice breathless and shaking.

"Seducing you. Is it working yet?" he nibbled the lower part of her ear.

Sakura squirmed and tried to get away, "Naruto stop it! I mean it!"

She felt his erection pressed against her and gasped when he moved it against her, pushing it between her legs from behind. They were both fully clothed but still it was a complete violation of her body and tears filled her eyes, "Naruto this isn't like you please stop."

He frowned and buried his face in her shoulder, "But you like me don't you? You could love me couldn't you? We make a good team don't we? You care about me don't you? Don't you know how much I love you? I'd do anything for you Sakura….anything."

With each sentence he spoke he moved against her, steadily increasing the speed of each thrust.

Sakura tried to get away again but his arms were like a vice, she had no idea he was actually this strong.

"If you'd do anything you'd let me go!" she snapped, tears filling her eyes more.

Movement caught her eye and she saw that guy from the store.

"Hey! Hey mister! Remember me? I helped you today! Please! Please help me!" she screamed.

Naraku stood watching the scene with slightly amused crimson eyes.

"Please!" she shrieked again.

Sighing he walked over to the two teens and knocked a fist lightly on Naruto's head.

"Shame shame shame." he purred.

Sakura stared at him in horror, was that all the help he was going to give?!

Naraku smirked at her and shrugged, "I'm a villain. What do you really expect from me?"

With that he casually walked away.

Sakura cursed the long haired red eyed man and with that anger in her now free. She was no longer frozen. She slammed her elbow into Naruto's stomach and then once his arms loosened she whirled around and slammed her fist into his face. Knocking him against the wall with all her strength.

"I'll go easy on your dumbass self since you are drunk but if you touch me again I will chop it off!" she shouted glaring, flames shooting from her mouth and eyes.

Naruto moaned and passed out there on the sidewalk.

Gaara who stood off a little ways, hidden by the shadows of nighttime stared at the crumpled form of Naruto in shock.

He'd actually done it…

Gaara smirked wickedly. Playing truth or dare with a drunk Naruto was highly amusing…

* * *

14. You invite **Hughes** and **Roy** on a trip

The once bored mind was no longer bored, the puppets had proved to be very entertaining. However, now the bored mind was very frustrated. They were beginning to remember, to suspect. It wouldn't be long now. Not long until they remembered what they were doing and what they were missing from.

A soft sigh escaped through pink lips. The writer was going to enjoy herself just once before that happened. She was going on a trip! She had the power to do anything right now and so then why not go on a cruise with two handsome gentlemen?

Smiling happily she left her house and strolled out into the neighborhood. She'd find her victims-er, guests…- and they'd head out.

Hughes woke up in a strange place with the worst headache of his life. He looked around him and wondered why he was in a mesh net screened box with lots of small colorful plastic balls… what exactly did he do last night?

He heard a whistle and turned his head toward the piercing sound, to tell the maker of such a horridly high pitched noise to be quiet, that he had an awful, awful headache.

Hughes found the whistler to be a short blonde haired girl with bright blue eyes. She smiled cheerfully and waved him over.

Wondering what a girl could want with him he obediently crawled out of the ball pit and, wincing at the brightness of the sun made his way to stand in front of her.

"Mister Maes Hughes?" she asked.

He nodded, confusion in his expression.

She smiled happily at him, "Will you go on a cruise with me?"

His eyes widened in shock but something compelled him to nod and agree to this invitation.

She cheered and danced happily, "Yay! Okey dokey then come with me. We have to find Roy too!"

She grabbed his hand and tugged him away as she ran off in search of Roy. Grinning she knew exactly where he was. …she'd put him there.

She knocked on the door to the house Inuyasha had stayed at last night.

A frazzled looking hanyou came to the door.

She smiled sweetly, apology in her eyes, she'd worn poor Inuyasha out…stupid random game…

"Hi there, is Mister Roy Mustang here?"

Inuyasha nodded and stepped back into the house to retrieve the requested man.

Roy appeared seconds later looking refreshed and renewed.

"Hello there, what can I do for you?" he asked looking down to her, their heights being vastly different.

He then noticed his close friend standing at her side.

Hughes waved, "Hey."

Roy nodded and turned his eyes back on the girl in front of him.

Smiling at him again she said, "Will you go on a cruise with us?"

He eyed her carefully and then asked, "How old are you?"

She giggled and said, "I'm a teenager."

Roy eyed her down, "Are you legal?"

Her blue eyes widened, "Heka?!"

Hughes slapped a hand to his face and dragged it down before shaking his head at Roy.

The girl shook her head, "No, no, no. None of that. I just want to go on a cruise with you two. No catches or anything like that. I promise. So please? Pretty please go with us? Mister Hughes already agreed to go with me. You don't want a young innocent girl like me going alone with him do you?"

Roy recalled walking in on Hughes and Kagome and he quickly shook the image away before nodding, determination in his eyes. "Ok. I'll go."

The blonde girl cheered and jumped in the air. "Then come on. Follow me."

Hughes cocked his head to the side as he followed after her, "Don't…we need to get our bags?"

"Nah no need they're already on the cruise ship." she said waving his hand away.

He stared at her with a strange look. She already had…their bags?

They were quickly ushered onto the ship and shown to their cabins. At her insistence they all three got their own private cabin. Probably because she feared what Roy truly thought this trip was…

The ship blew it's horn and then began pulling out. The cruise was on!

* * *

15. **Roy** disappears how does **Kakashi** tell **Naruto**?

Kakashi sighed somewhat sadly as he entered the hotel room he and Naruto were sharing.

Upon his entrance, Naruto looked up at him from his cup of ramen.

"Something wrong?" he asked around the mouthful of noodles he had in his mouth.

Kakashi nodded, "I have bad news…"

"What!? What is it!" Naruto demanded jumping up, concern in his blue eyes.

"It's…about someone we know." Kakashi started slowly, taking a shaky breath.

Naruto gasped, "Was it Sakura? Gaara? Who? What happened?!"

Kakashi held up his hands to quiet the questioning.

"It was…Roy." he said.

Naruto halted all questioning and gesturing and just stared at Kakashi.

"He was on a cruise ship…he saw the movie Titanic…he was acting out that really great scene…you know the one where Rose is held up and she holds her arms out? Well he had no one to hold him…Hughes refused. And then…came the volleyball. It came out of nowhere, a rogue volleyball. It hit him in the back of the head and he fell over before anyone can even shout 'No hey Roy watch out!' And he is now…lost at sea. He's disappeared and no one is sure they will find him."

Naruto stared, eyes wide, at Kakashi. He hadn't blinked since Kakashi had started explaining.

"Kakashi…what the hell is wrong with you!? You had me really worried! I'm sorry for his disappearing but I barely know the guy! I talked to him like one time!"

Kakashi sniffled and bowed his head, "We shared some…pretty special times…"

Naruto's mouth dropped open as he stared at his former sensei. That sounded an awful lot like…

Kakashi smiled softly as he thought back to their special time.

"Chase me around the living room! Chase me, chase me!"

Kakashi chased after him giggling.

Roy stumbled and fell forward, tripping Kakashi with him.

A book with an orange cover toppled out of his pouch and fell open on the floor.

Roy's hazy onyx eyes widened.

"What is this!?" he exclaimed with joy and awe.

Kakashi smiled proudly, "Make-Out Paradise."

With trembling hands Roy held it up and beheld the pervy glory. He turned to Kakashi, "Let's read it together."

Nodding Kakashi scooted closer and they each held a side of the book.

Kakashi pointed to his favorite part of that page and Roy snickered, making Kakashi snicker twice as hard as he normally would.

Kakashi left his fond memory and sighed, "We shared so much that night…so many laughs…so many tears…"

Naruto was slowly inching towards the door, not turning his back to his presumably insane teammate.

* * *

16. **Sakura** robs a convenience store, what gets stolen?

She was losing it! Absolutely positive-a-lutely losing it! She needed help. Fast.

She saw a convenience store and saw her savior within it's shining windows of hope.

Smiling Sakura made her way across the busy street, uncaring of the cars that honked and squealed as they swerved and braked to avoid hitting her.

She opened the door and walked to her prize. She grabbed as much as her arms could carry and nearly skipped to the counter. She lay out her treasure on the countertop and watched with loving eyes as the man rang up her total. He gave her the amount and she reached into her pouch to grab her wallet.

Sakura gasped when her fingers came into contact with cold metal instead of her wallet.

This was her kunai bag! She'd grabbed the wrong bag when leaving her room this morning! But, but…her room was so very far away. And she needed her comfort now!

Desperate she whipped a kunai out and held it glaring at the man with menacing eyes.

"Alright, pal. Hand over that bag and nobody gets hurt. I'm a professional with this thing do not test me."

The man gawked at the weapon and nodded, the way she held it matched with that crazed look in her emerald eyes was enough to make him believe she was speaking truthfully.

He handed her the bag and she snatched it from him. He swore he heard a hiss as she grabbed it.

"Ok. I'll just be leaving now. And don't you dare call the cops on me! I'll get away and I'll come back here for you! don't think I won't!"

He didn't. He knew she would… what she was taking…it wasn't worth this. Hell his salary for a month wasn't worth this.

Sakura backed out of the door and then turned and hightailed it out of there.

She put away her weapon and smiled giddily at her booty.

Hopping up on a nearby rooftop she opened the bag to reveal her comfort food.

Pulling one out she carefully opened the wrapper, treating it as if it were the most sacred thing on Earth.

Sakura took one of the treasures from the wrapper and put the whole thing in her mouth.

"Mmmmm!"

She was in ecstasy. She moaned and closed her eyes savoring the flavors dancing on her tongue.

Damn she loved Reese's!

* * *

17. **Kakashi** takes ballet with **Lust**

Kakashi moped down the sidewalk. He just wasn't in the mood to do anything now that his special friend was lost at sea.

This wasn't like him though. He needed something to get out of this funk!

He saw a busty dark haired woman walk by in a form fitting figure flattering dark dress.

His tongue rolled out of his mouth and he pursued his target.

Lust noticed the guy following her and rolled her eyes. Men.

Though…this one was kind of cute. And she'd yet to locate Naraku… so eh what the hell?

She would have some fun with this guy.

She stopped and turned around to face the grey haired man.

Kakashi smiled at her charmingly, "Hello there."

"Hey yourself. Are you following me because you are interested?"

Kakashi shrugged casually, "I could be. Or I could live in this direction."

"But you were headed the other direction until I passed by."

He grinned, though it was mostly hidden by his mask it warmed the visible features of his face.

"Ah, but I could've just forgotten something at home and was turning to go back and get it. How nice it is that you were noticing me as you walked by." he said with a bit of a cocky smile.

Lust smirked, she may actually like this one more than she'd anticipated. But that didn't mean she couldn't still have fun with him.

"Well I was…but now I'm just not sure. You see I need a partner."

Kakashi chuckled, "I'd love to be your partner."

Lust smiled coyly, "Oh I just bet you would. Come on then."

She took his hand and pulled him in to a dance studio. She talked to the instructor, discreetly slipped the woman a twenty to play along and then grabbed the biggest dark leotard from the rack along with a purple tutu.

"Here go get changed."

Kakashi stared down at the flimsy frilly fabric in his hands.

He felt himself be pushed into the men's bathroom.

Sighing Kakashi frowned.

With this step…I take a step closer to my greatest fear.. Becoming like Guy.

He quickly changed leaving his mask on of course and came out of the bathroom.

There in the studio was the woman who'd brought him in here. Dressed on a leotard different from his. Her had a bathing suit like bottom his had legs. Hers had a very low cut swooping down exposing the bounty of her bosom, his….no swooping, no exposing.

The sight before him…of this sexy woman in this outfit of a tight, revealing leotard with a sheer little tutu around her slim waist…

It was worth it.

Squeezing himself and his poor package into this lung crushing material, becoming like Guy, looking like ridiculous. All worth it. Kakashi smiled and went to join his partner on the dance floor.

* * *

18. **Ed** and **Gaara** stalk **Inuyasha**

A loud crash echoed through the hotel room.

Ed lay sprawled on the floor. He'd finally broken through that damn closet door. Now to untie himself…

He wriggled out of his ropes easily now that he had more room to maneuver.

The hotel room door opened and in walked his enemy.

Gaara.

The red head smirked at him, as if challenging him to say or do something.

Furious Ed leapt to his feet and shouted, "I dunno who the hell you think you are coming in my room after I so graciously offered you a place to stay and then repaying me by locking me in my own closet! Why I oughta kick your ass and then kick you out of here!"

Gaara said nothing he simply popped the cork off of his gourd that he wore on his back.

Ed's golden eye's narrowed.

"Fine. We'll play it your way. But trust me, you are so gonna regret this!"

Gaara chuckled darkly.

Hours later the room was in shambles and both Ed and Gaara exhausted.

Ed held up his hand, "I call a truce. We don't have anything else in this room to destroy. I say we're even."

Gaara hating to settle, hating to be on equal levels with someone was repulsed by the idea.

However, he was loathe to admit it seemed to be true. This guy had tricks Gaara had never seen before.

A voice outside caught their attention.

"Come on! You're being unreasonable wench! I said I was sorry! Ain't that good enough for you?"

Gaara knew that voice. That was Inuyasha.

"No! Because I don't think you're really sorry! Stupid Inuyasha! Sit boy!"

There was a loud crash followed by an equally loud slam.

Gaara and Ed peeked out of the room and saw Inuyasha prone on the ground with a door shut in his face.

After a minute he pulled himself up, with a great deal of effort it seemed.

He shouted at the door, "Fine! But this is the last time I try! I'm not coming back for you again Kagome! If you want to come back you'll have to crawl back now! I've got a house here in town. When you decide to stop being a childish bitch I'll be there."

He rattled off the address and then stomped away.

Ed looked at the room he and Gaara had demolished ad then to the red head.

"He has a house…"

Gaara nodded. Indeed he did.

With brainwaves in sync they hurried after Inuyasha.

Following at a safe distance, keeping to shadows and remaining quiet.

Inuyasha slowed his pace down and stared up at the sky as he walked down the sidewalk of the town.

With a loud huff he folded his arms into his sleeves and headed for his house.

She'd come back. She always came back… she had to come back… she promised….

Shaking those thoughts away Inuyasha felt he was being watched. He turned around to look behind him but saw nothing out of the ordinary, and no eyes were on him.

He turned back around and started for his house again.

Ed glanced at Gaara, "That was a close one."

Gaara nodded. They peeked around the wall they'd been clinging to and caught sight of Inuyasha.

"Here take this." Ed said handing Gaara a big advertising sign about some great new cell phone. He had a similar sign.

"Next time he looks just drop down behind this. Come on." Ed instructed.

Gaara watched the blonde creep down the sidewalk with a sign held out in front of him.

He was skeptical to say the least. He seriously highly doubted if this would hide them from anything…it was too conspicuous. But…he didn't really care. He'd take that house either way.

Shrugging, Gaara picked up his sign and followed after Ed who was following after Inuyasha.

* * *

19. **Naraku** goes grocery shopping to fix dinner for **Kagome** and **Lust**

"Narakuu!!"

Naraku paused in his trip to the store.

Now that brought back memories… people bellowing his name right before they- his eyes widened the slightest bit as he jumped out of way of the attack he'd barely remembered to follow after his name shouted like that.

He looked to his attacker and gasped.

Lust!? But he'd seen her die.

She glared at him.

"How dare you string me along! Nobody plays me like that! Nobody!" she shouted and attacked again, sending her lethal claws at his head.

Naraku dodged and shot towards her, trying to get a closer look. He'd seen her die he had, so how was she now here and very much alive?

Deciding to be straightforward he simply asked her, "How are you alive?"

She sneered, "I'm a homunculus you idiot! No car hitting me is going to take me out! How dare you abandon me after that shitty ending! You led me on making me think we'd go back to your place! That you were interested and then you ditch me the first chance you get?! Like hell! I'll cut off both your heads for that!"

Naraku raised one eyebrow as he pondered her threat. Both of his…? But he only had one he- oh. Oh shit.

Naraku smiled at her, "You misunderstand. I was not aware of your…talents. I thought you t truly be dead and simply left to escape police questioning. I am not the most….innocent looking person."

Lust eyed him suspiciously, "Don't lie to me. I hate being lied to!"

"I am not. In fact come to my place tonight."

She froze and stared at him, "Are you saying you're going to cook for me?"

Was that what she wanted?

Naraku smirked that was easy enough.

"Of course I am. Of course I will."

She relaxed. "Alright then. But this better not be a trick or I swear you will die a slow painful death."

"It is nothing but a nice dinner fixed by my hands." he promised.

"It better be. I'll know if it's not." she glared at him one last time and Naraku shuddered at the chill her gaze sent through him. What a woman.

He turned and continued on t the store. It wasn't until he was there that he realized. He couldn't cook. At all.

"Shit."

He walked the aisles looking at various foods. What the hell did he do now?

Then he spotted something that made him smile.

The priestess from the future. She cooked for her little group often.

Moving with a plan at lat in his grasp Naraku cut Kagome off.

"Hello, Kagome."

Kagome gasped and stared in shock at Naraku. She recovered quickly and took a step back from him.

"Naraku." she spat his name with disgust, "What are you doing here?"

"I'm shopping." he told her blankly.

His answer caught her off guard, "You're what?"

"Shopping. For dinner to be precise. And I've come to you knowing of your knowledge in that area."

She stared at him with her mouth hanging wide open.

He stepped forward and closed it with his finger, "Careful, we'd hate for a fly to go your mouth."

She glared and stepped back.

"Don't touch me. And don't think I'm stupid. Like you'd ever just be cooking dinner."

"I assure you that's what I'm doing. Its for friend of mine. A lady friend."

Kagome's mouth dropped open again but she quickly snapped it shut remembering what he'd done last time.

"You…have a date?" she asked, stunned.

Naraku smirked, "I suppose I do."

Kagome raised her brows in clear shock. She just couldn't wrap her mind around any of this. Naraku was in the grocery store…shopping like a normal person…for a date!? And what was more he was here talking to her civilly and asking for help…least she thought that's how it sounded.

"Are…you asking for my help, Naraku?" she asked, disbelief in her eyes. She stumbled over saying his name. It was weird saying it so casually.

"Indeed I am. Show me what to buy and tell me how to prepare it." he answered his cunning eyes studying her.

Kagome shivered under his creepy gaze and nodded, "Um, ok. Yeah, sure I can, um, do that. Follow me."

She helped him pick out a good romantic meal and then wrote down how to fix it.

Naraku shook his head, "This is not possible to learn in one night. You must come help me fix it."

Kagome squeaked in surprise, "W-what?"

"Relax priestess I won't hurt you. Tonight." he said waving her fear away as if she were foolish to fear going anywhere with him.

She keyed in on that "Tonight." part and shuddered.

_Oh, Inuyasha…why was I so stupid if I'd just accepted your apology you would be with me. I'm sorry._

Naraku guided her out of the store and towards his home. He knew bringing another woman to the date was a bad idea but he had no choice. He'll just tell Lust she was the true cook and he will prepare a much more…pleasant surprise for her in the bedroom. Then he will be forgiven.

* * *

20. **Inuyasha**, **Ed**, and **Naruto **are locked in a closet together

Inuyasha growled as he heard the door of the house open and a chattery voice come in uninvited.

"Hey Gaara? Wanna go do something? I'm bored." Naruto called.

Ed glared at Inuyasha in the cramped closet they were shut up in. "What are you growling about I was the one betrayed."

Inuyasha rolled his eyes, "You told me he did this to you once. Why wouldn't you expect him to do it again? Stupid."

"You're stupid." Ed hissed.

There was a muffled yelp and a small scuffle outside the closet door.

Suddenly a bright light appeared, displaying the silhouette of Gaara holding another person.

He threw Naruto in and then closed the door, locking it and sealing it back with his sand.

The closet was too small for Inuyasha to draw his sword and Ed tried using alchemy for some reason it wouldn't work on this blasted door.

Naruto sat up and rubbed his head where he'd hit it on the floor.

"Ow…what the hell is Gaara's problem?" he muttered glaring at the door.

Inuyasha shrugged.

Naruto looked at the two boys in the closet with him.

"So...I'm Naruto. Hi. You both look familiar…"

"We've been around town. I'm Edward." Ed answered, thinking Naruto looked familiar as well.

Inuyasha mumbled his name but stayed for the most part silent slouched in the corner.

Naruto stared at Inuyasha, "You have a demon in you?"

Inuyasha shrugged, "Somethin like that. I'm half demon."

"Oh, ok cool. I have a demon in me. So…I'm kinda a half demon too."

He then looked to Edward, "Nice hair dude."

Ed stared at him for a second and then smiled, "Uh…thanks…?"

After a moment of silence Edward huffed, "Why aren't you trying to get out of here?"

Naruto grinned and shrugged, "Gaara locks me up in places a lot. Says I'm too noisy. But he always comes and gets me out eventually. My guess is he just wants some peace and quiet for a while."

Inuyasha growled, "Dammit he could've just asked for it. I'd have left. Not even my house. I got places I need to be anyway."

Naruto chuckled, "Asking isn't really Gaara's style…but don't worry he'll let us out any time now."

Edward rolled his eyes and dropped his head to rest in his hands, "Yeah I bet when he locks you up you say that a lot but it really takes hours."

Naruto blushed in the darkness, "Eh heh heh…yeah…even those few times he left me in for two days…time kinda flies when you don't know what time it is."

Two sets of wide eyes stared at Naruto in disbelief.

This could not be happening to them!

Ed pouted in the corner, he wanted to be with Alphonse and Winry…

Inuyasha sulked in his corner wishing he'd stayed and tried to work things out with Kagome longer. He'd've avoided this whole thing if he'd just done that.

Naruto sat leaning against the door dreaming about ramen and wondering what flavor he'd have when he got out, because he knew they'd get out. Gaara was a bit harsh but he was his friend and he wouldn't leave him in here for too too long.

* * *

Gaara sat in the living room in a big cushy recliner with his hands folded behind his head a slight smile on his lips. All the major annoyances in his life were now locked away and covered by sand so their voices didn't carry to his ears. Quiet never sounded so good.

Sesshomaru walked out of the kitchen and glanced at the sand covered closet with narrowed eyes then to Gaara.

"Want some cookies?"

Gaara thought about it and nodded. He could go for some cookies. Sounded like the perfect ending to him. This day was now good.

* * *

Having finished her game the no longer bored mind had her powers revoked and everything was set right, everyone went back to where they belonged and did as they were meant to do. None of the people any wiser to the events they'd endured while in her control.


End file.
